I’m a fan of road trips. Granted, my typical MO is to pack the year’s worth of magazines I haven’t managed to read and then promptly fall asleep sitting up and continue to not read them. But this one was pretty extreme, even for me. Over 1,000 miles from Valdosta, Georgia to Kansas City, Missouri for Aubrey and Bre, then another 3,400+ miles from Kansas City, Missouri to Fairbanks, Alaska. Fortunately Aubrey is a master-planner: she mapped out the whole route, planning only about eight hours a day of driving and finding all the hotels, so all we had to do was follow the big, black trailer with “Yukon Ho!” painted on the side (kudos to MacGregor and Savannah for the awesome graphic design and execution!). What follows are excerpts from our family group texts…because Adam does the best play-by-play, and they’re all more entertaining than me.
Sunday, October 6
Adam: Whoever had 8 a.m. in the departure pool, I’m sorry to say you did not win.
Ooooh, 9 a.m. people I’m sorry to say your window has passed as well.
If you had 9:30 in the departure pool, congratulations! You won absolutely nothing but the warm satisfaction of knowing how impossible it is for most of us to be on time to anything. Ever.
October 7:
Adam: The Alaskan Alliance is back on the road and headed for Regina, Saskatchewan today. They will cross the border this afternoon. Fun fact: Regina is the birthplace of Ryan Reynolds. Here’s hoping the contraband-sniffing moose are not turned loose on our merry little band.
Zach Cogswell: “How long have you been sitting on that one?”
Adam: You have NO IDEA.
The Alaskan Alliance is at the border to America’s hat. Here’s hoping the Mounties had their poutine today and are feeling generous.
The Alaskan Alliance has unlocked the “Invade Canada” achievement! Everyone is across the border and no one qualified for “enhanced screening”.
Sliding into Regina like it’s prom night, the Alaskan Alliance has made it to their next stop.
October 8:
Adam: Today’s destination for our merry band of travelers: Edmonton, Alberta. Fun fact: there are no rats in Edmonton or anywhere in Alberta. They are on the road and headed to the vermin free paradise that is also closest to the geographical center of Alberta.
<cue dramatic music> Our band of travelers faces their first challenge from Mother Nature! Will they be stranded in a snowstorm? Who gets eaten first? The dogs or Jacob? Will there be a pig skull involved? Stay tuned for all these answers and more! <end dramatic music> (Wait, Lord of the Flies was a pig skull, right?)
Alexis Cogswell: Spot on! “The pig’s head is there, mounted on a stick; it is now nothing but bone, its flesh eaten by the flies. Ralph thinks the skull is smiling at him, knowing his own thoughts, so he strikes out at the head.”
Matt Adams: If they get stuck just tell them to blow the conch. “The conch represents order, rational thought and civilization.”
Meghan Adams: Of course you remembered the conch, Matt. Knower-of-all-things.
Adam: Edmonton, Alberta, where there are no rats and the moose are only tiny. They’ve arrived! No one was forced into weather related skullduggery. Next stop, Fort St. John by way of Dawson Creek. Dawson. Not Dawson’s. No one will be crying in teenage angst on this trip. More fun facts: Dawson Creek marks the beginning of the Alaskan Highway. This road runs for 1400 miles from British Columbia to Alaska.
Adam: Lame…
Stay tuned for the next installment of “Road Trip?…” or, “Whose idea was this, anyway?!”
Heart's Desire 